My Favorite Quotes About Marriage

Much has been said about marriage — both positive and negative — by men and women who have entered or refrained from the ties of wedlock.  The following collection of quotes shares many thoughts on the subject of marriage from various perspectives with an eye towards irreverence and wit.


“Marriage has too often been portrayed as two people frozen together side by side, as immobile as marble statues.  More accurately, it is the intricate and graceful cooperation of two dancers who through long practice have learned to match each other’s movements and moods in response to the movement of the spheres.” David R. Mace

“Marriage is to think together.” Robert C. Dodds

“An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” Sacha Guitry

“Marriage is a mistake every man should make.” George Jessel

“A man who wants a happy marriage must learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” Groucho Marx

“She’s my girl…she’s my blue sky.  After sixteen years, I still bite her shoulders.  She makes me feel like Hannibal crossing the Alps.” John Cheever

“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.” Kin Hubbard

“A man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.” Euripides

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” Barnett R. Brickner

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” Judith Viorst

”Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night.” Paul Hornung

“I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist and neither one would take the garbage out.” Lee Grant

“Man gets nothing brighter than a kind wife.” Semonides

“Marriage is three parts love

And seven parts forgiveness” Langdon Mitchell

“Choose a wife by your ear rather than your eye.” Thomas Fuller

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” George Bernard Shaw

“You can’t appreciate home till you’ve left it, money till it’s spent, your wife till she’s joined a woman’s club.” O. Henry

“What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” Leo Tolstoy

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” Honore de Balzac

“Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.” Harville Hendrix

“The happiness of married life depends upon making small sacrifices with readiness and cheerfulness.” John Seldon

“When people get married because they think it’s a long- time love affair, they’ll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.” Joseph Campbell

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” Barbra Streisand

“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” Joseph Barth

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx

“As for his secret to staying married: `My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.’”  Jon BonJovi

“An immature person may achieve success in a career but never in marriage.” Benjamin Spock

“He who finds a wife finds what is good.” Proverbs 18:22

“The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.” Frank Pittman

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.” Josh Billings

“Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner, it feels limitless, not limited.” Gloria Steinem

“English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law.  This is our idea of useless legislation.” Author Unknown

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it’s because they take better care of it.” Cecil Selig

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” Oscar Wilde

“Every man who is high up loves to think he has done it himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.  It’s only our joke.  Every woman knows that.” James Barrie

“The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation.  It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through all eternity.” Goethe

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.” Andre Maurois

“Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat!” Joanne Woodward